tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post6683317949462081246..comments2024-02-21T05:25:03.233-05:00Comments on Adventures in YA Publishing: 1st 5 Pages February Workshop - Basso Rev 3Martina Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03358736828122139189noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-72439382806928962462012-03-01T23:24:37.402-05:002012-03-01T23:24:37.402-05:00I like what you've built up since the start. G...I like what you've built up since the start. Good job expanding on her hallucinations and the emo kid. This paragraph threw me though: "And the long way is to avoid my Super Nurse best friend. She doesn’t need to see me this bad off. Our lunch visit was more than enough. I don’t need another lecture. Maybe I’ll even sneak out the side door after school. I love her to death, but her home life is bad enough." I had to read it several times to get it. Naming the friend might help. Calling her Super Nurse confused me. But otherwise, you've done great!Lisa Gail Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03648323153868702165noreply@blogger.com