tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post5664549422424923281..comments2024-02-21T05:25:03.233-05:00Comments on Adventures in YA Publishing: 1st 5 Pages March Workshop - Pine Rev 3Martina Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03358736828122139189noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-1229694387359943352012-03-30T23:58:42.307-04:002012-03-30T23:58:42.307-04:00Actually, Jessica, I totally agree with you. I'...Actually, Jessica, I totally agree with you. I'm squeezing a lot into five pages but really want to expand on these scenes in the full manuscript. Thank you to everyone for your helpful feedback. This has been quite a wonderful experience for me!Amyhttp://amylovesya.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-5327289888003070642012-03-30T16:17:17.244-04:002012-03-30T16:17:17.244-04:00I would've liked to see how the date ends in t...I would've liked to see how the date ends in that first scene. What does Will do after that statement? What does Livvy do after his reaction? Awkward can be a great way to show characterization OR, on the other hand, can show how Will isn't (or won't be) anything like the new boy. I still don't think I like how quickly the scenes change, but I get the impression that's just me :P Good job!Jessica Silvahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10265579216725914883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-24384551558447416132012-03-29T08:26:38.971-04:002012-03-29T08:26:38.971-04:00I think with each pass your pages get better. Def...I think with each pass your pages get better. Definitely relavent/relatable to teens, and your characters make me want to keep reading.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11607291218714097810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-35183729802809348382012-03-28T18:27:08.781-04:002012-03-28T18:27:08.781-04:00Hi Amy, I really enjoyed the new additions on this...Hi Amy, I really enjoyed the new additions on this version. The scene with the family. Summer and Livvy are fun together, with wonderful sense of humour.I just went back and read the first version and this last one. You've done a great job. would definitely like to read Liv's story. :)Cecilia Roberthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04416564789369523352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-84235095170503317612012-03-28T13:21:08.633-04:002012-03-28T13:21:08.633-04:00I really like this. I like your MC a lot. I'm ...I really like this. I like your MC a lot. I'm glad you cut out the extra infodump. It reads smoother. I did like a couple of lines you cut this time around, like her failure to not stare at Wes at lunch. But I still think it reads well. I again like that it's not your "typical" dystopian. I would definitely keep reading to find out what's up.Lisa Gail Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03648323153868702165noreply@blogger.com