tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post4346068609777985606..comments2024-02-21T05:25:03.233-05:00Comments on Adventures in YA Publishing: Query Letter #49Martina Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03358736828122139189noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-64044018047046815182010-10-04T14:47:33.259-04:002010-10-04T14:47:33.259-04:00I agree with Stina. You've set up the major pr...I agree with Stina. You've set up the major problem of the book being these kids and trying to protect and save them. I understand her coming to the conclusion that the problem is bigger than her, but there needs to be some resolution with them. Does she report the abusive parents? Call the cops? Something before leaving them. Compared to their problems, her problem of her parent separating is weak and leaves me not sympathizing with her. You've set up two different conflicts. What is your story really about? We need to feel for your MC and be cheering her on. Give us that in this query.<br /><br />Hope this helps. It sounds like you have an intense story with a strong protagonist fighting for a good cause. We need to love your MC by the end of the query and want to read about her solving these tough issues.<br /><br />Good luck.Traci VWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18158949570719862850noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-77799672579977756782010-09-30T14:20:21.811-04:002010-09-30T14:20:21.811-04:00This story sounds great, though the last part soun...This story sounds great, though the last part sounds anticlimatic after the abuse and alcholic parents she was guarding the kids from. Somehow her own problems don't seem so great when you consider the danger the kids are in. When I got to the part that she just abandoned the kids and went home, I didn't care for Emily like I had at the beginning. Does that make sense? <br /><br />And I sure hope she didn't just leave the kids. Surely she would have said something to someone in authority, which you might want to put in the query. That would make her still a sympathetic character. <br /><br />Good luck with it. :DStinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11415189347501942340noreply@blogger.com