tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post1449392362725087192..comments2024-02-21T05:25:03.233-05:00Comments on Adventures in YA Publishing: Susan Dennard on Showing versus TellingMartina Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03358736828122139189noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-35043544865327276742013-07-27T10:16:04.956-04:002013-07-27T10:16:04.956-04:00You're so very welcome, Cassie! It was a real ...You're so very welcome, Cassie! It was a real pleasure to read your pages, and if you ever need help or have questions, PLEASE don't hesitate to email me! :DSusan Dennardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03941995566887645497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-34214184824015020512013-07-26T23:42:49.725-04:002013-07-26T23:42:49.725-04:00It was a nice exercise. :)It was a nice exercise. :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08467251684366382365noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-61299841984925503252013-07-24T15:17:20.944-04:002013-07-24T15:17:20.944-04:00So I just saw this Susan, and WOW! I have to const...So I just saw this Susan, and WOW! I have to constantly tell myself to show and not tell, because telling is so much easier (and less time consuming). But showing provides a much more enjoyable reading experience, and your examples definitely helped!<br /><br />Thanks for this post and thanks for being SUCH an awesome mentor for the First Five Pages Workshop. Really, your critiques have been amazing. Cassie Fryehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02446982127719149447noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-75646203778443139152013-07-24T15:04:53.811-04:002013-07-24T15:04:53.811-04:00Ah! Thanks so much! I'm super interested! This...Ah! Thanks so much! I'm super interested! This workshop and especially your notes have given me SUCH a boost. Now I must tare apart the rest of my manuscript while thinking "What would Sooz do?" (In a total non-creepy and obsesive way of course :P )Elliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17213406441675013527noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-20456567796945105912013-07-24T10:40:26.699-04:002013-07-24T10:40:26.699-04:00Nice! You definitely make a good point there about...Nice! You definitely make a good point there about keeping that one line--and that's the cool thing about writing, huh? Totally subjective and no right or wrong way! It's all about what you're trying to convey. :)<br /><br />Thanks for the comment and for playing around with the example passage--I'm not sure anyone else did! So yay! :DSusan Dennardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03941995566887645497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-4495062632457819832013-07-24T10:38:26.180-04:002013-07-24T10:38:26.180-04:00Telling always sneaks in for me too--you're so...Telling always sneaks in for me too--you're so not alone in that! But hey--that's what revisions are for, right? ;)Susan Dennardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03941995566887645497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-38224115767200807652013-07-24T10:37:51.571-04:002013-07-24T10:37:51.571-04:00You're definitely right on the dialogue point!...You're definitely right on the dialogue point! I always do that in first drafts too--have the characters just sitting and chatting and sharing critical info...rather than weaving that dialogue into a scene where they're DOING something. :P Thank goodness for revisions!Susan Dennardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03941995566887645497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-57031758428968217412013-07-24T10:36:46.561-04:002013-07-24T10:36:46.561-04:00You're so welcome--and I'm so glad it help...You're so welcome--and I'm so glad it helped you! I always learn best from examples, so I always try to *show* them. ;)Susan Dennardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03941995566887645497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-66836367113679904052013-07-23T20:19:30.221-04:002013-07-23T20:19:30.221-04:00It's wonderful to see a published author so ha...It's wonderful to see a published author so happy to help others! Thank you so much for this helpful piece. <br /><br />I personally would have left in the sentence: "Carrie’s fingers tightened on the steering wheel—she tended to do that whenever she was nervous". I would have then put in the description of the wear-and-tear of said steering wheel, which the narrator had not seen in three months. That way, it would be immediately obvious that the two were in a car. I don't like not being able to picture the setting quickly. I just liked the line because it told so much so fast - the setting, that Carrie was nervous, that Em knew Carrie well. I love multi-tasking sentences. <br /><br />It was fun playing around with the scene.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08467251684366382365noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-42586452402237124312013-07-23T12:47:06.254-04:002013-07-23T12:47:06.254-04:00Thank you so much! I will certainly take you up on...Thank you so much! I will certainly take you up on it and appreciate learning from someone who knows what she's talking about. :0) DonnaLouisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05438951080547393623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-42600614021489449252013-07-23T12:35:42.191-04:002013-07-23T12:35:42.191-04:00Such a great example. I constantly need to be remi...Such a great example. I constantly need to be reminded of this. Telling keeps sneaking in! I love how you showed the little pony charm. Margo Berendsenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03476308235642890474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-57395127554822517892013-07-23T11:28:55.735-04:002013-07-23T11:28:55.735-04:00The same thing holds true with dialog, I think. Ev...The same thing holds true with dialog, I think. Every few sentences of "info dump" there needs to be some action happening in real-time to the characters involved. Study the dialog in the Harry Potter books when great reams of information is shared between two or more characters. I'd give examples but I'm not nearly as good at it as JKR.<br /><br />Your example of weaving information in with action is along the same lines. Don't treat your readers as though they have to have EVERY LITTLE THING spelled out. Drop the information in gradually while keeping them involved in the story. Well done.Suzanne Luceronoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-57438573944614926822013-07-23T10:10:42.172-04:002013-07-23T10:10:42.172-04:00Thank you for sharing this post!! I'm new to t...Thank you for sharing this post!! I'm new to this blog and so glad to have read this one! It really dug in a little deeper and gave me the best examples I've seen to date on how to correct the telling issue (you actually showed how to show - ha!). I also really appreciate the reminder that a first draft is just a great place to see what the characters do as I tend to get hung up on editing a little too early. Thanks again and I'm excited to get familiar with your work!<br />ChristyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-71071919860961694632013-07-23T09:30:43.349-04:002013-07-23T09:30:43.349-04:00Ha! I know about the "get-the-backstory-out-o...Ha! I know about the "get-the-backstory-out-of-my-system" thing! I let myself write the long pages of backstory in a first draft, but then I turn my laser eyes on during revisions and cut it all out--and even move it into a specific word doc for later weaving back in. :DSusan Dennardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03941995566887645497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-25779235257688768572013-07-23T09:29:12.376-04:002013-07-23T09:29:12.376-04:00Hey, I still have those bugs too. It's totally...Hey, I still have those bugs too. It's totally normal no matter what stage your in. :D Happy writing!Susan Dennardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03941995566887645497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-19881382072147649342013-07-23T09:28:42.240-04:002013-07-23T09:28:42.240-04:00Yes! I always think an example is the best/easiest...Yes! I always think an example is the best/easiest way to learn. Then practicing a LOT helps after that. ;) Thanks for stoping by!! :DSusan Dennardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03941995566887645497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-85507116693541480642013-07-23T09:27:45.929-04:002013-07-23T09:27:45.929-04:00It's super cool this resonated with you on suc...It's super cool this resonated with you on such a specific level. I definitely like to work in quirks as a *shown* action (though inevitably my first drafts are NOT that way and I have to rewrite them accordingly!).Susan Dennardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03941995566887645497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-68634973555994889972013-07-23T09:26:03.758-04:002013-07-23T09:26:03.758-04:00I just skimmed your 5 pages for this week, but I c...I just skimmed your 5 pages for this week, but I can tell you've done some great work on it. You've REALLY come a long way in the past two weeks, and if you ever, ever have questions or need help, just email me--susan at susandennard dot com. I appreciate people who listen and really *try* to incorporate/internalize new writing skills. :)Susan Dennardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03941995566887645497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-48262661920501293562013-07-23T06:02:49.544-04:002013-07-23T06:02:49.544-04:00Thanks for this example, and for mentoring me in t...Thanks for this example, and for mentoring me in this month's first five pages, Susan. As you well know, I've struggled with show v. tell, but your suggestion here to pull out what's important and weave it back in might just help me towards figuring it out. I appreciate all the time you've taken to help me towards bringing my opening to life, though I think it's going to take this neophyte many more drafts! :PDonnaLouisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05438951080547393623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-45223201961548336782013-07-22T21:46:25.390-04:002013-07-22T21:46:25.390-04:00A few days ago, I wrote something about my protago...A few days ago, I wrote something about my protagonist clutching something, like she normally did out of fear- and I wondered if that wasn't telling. So felt really connected to this piece because you highlighted a very similar example! Thanks for sharing :)heycatharsishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17605406565232169588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-80899849558347448512013-07-22T20:10:39.778-04:002013-07-22T20:10:39.778-04:00Great demo, terrific blog. Going to link to this f...Great demo, terrific blog. Going to link to this for my writing students. There's nothing like a good example to really show writers what to do--not just talk about it!Carol Baldwinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10444182118975929045noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-43250260592699393922013-07-22T16:07:43.239-04:002013-07-22T16:07:43.239-04:00This is a great post. I'm still working the &q...This is a great post. I'm still working the "Show, Don't Tell" bugs out of my story. Your demo is really going to help me. Thank you. :)Chris Dessonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12923699574241563330noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-85257476145064047412013-07-22T14:12:19.368-04:002013-07-22T14:12:19.368-04:00Great way to demo showing as opposed to telling. D...Great way to demo showing as opposed to telling. Definitely liked the 2nd one better - the little pony charm was perfect! I've gotten much better at sprinkling in backstory. Sometimes I have to go write a backstory scene just to get it out of my system and then I can sprinkle and not dump! :)Jemi Fraserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214408467456320167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-30428735106149689532013-07-22T13:31:04.927-04:002013-07-22T13:31:04.927-04:00Aw, thanks, Martina! I really *want* to be a good ...Aw, thanks, Martina! I really *want* to be a good teacher, and I really LOVE helping people learn to write and learn to actively improve their writing--so it's really nice to hear you think I'm doin' okay at that.<br /><br />Also, thank you so very much for inviting me to participate as a mentor. It's been really fun and educational for me. :)Susan Dennardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03941995566887645497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8005062827798430682.post-74815279714086210222013-07-22T11:59:48.290-04:002013-07-22T11:59:48.290-04:00Susan,
Thank you so much for this amazing piece! ...Susan,<br /><br />Thank you so much for this amazing piece! You managed to really show us the difference as well as explaining it beautifully :D. Seriously, you are a fantastic teacher. I've seen that all month at the First Five Pages workshop, and this is just another perfect example! I LOVE this post!<br /><br />Martina Boonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03358736828122139189noreply@blogger.com