Thursday, September 30, 2010

2 Query Letter #33

Query Letter #33
Laura Diamond
YA Dystopian

Dear Ms. LaPolla:

A genetic mutation makes seventeen-year-old Justin Talent an outcast—it also makes his anemic blood a drug. A drug that can kill his sister’s murderer.

In a world where a vaccine-induced immortals drink blood to survive, Justin knows his days in government sanctioned safe houses are numbered. Especially since he failed to stake Alex, the wannabe vampire who snapped his sister’s neck. The one thing he wants to do before he dies is get revenge. Justin searches the human slave district, even the wilds outside the city for Alex, but the leech finds him first and decides to keep him around for his rare blood.

Justin has no intention of becoming the bloodsucker’s drug dispenser. He’s got a great plan to kill Alex—overdose him with his own blood—but he’s got to figure out how to get close enough to do it without losing his own life in the process.

My YA dystopian, TALENT’S BLOOD, is complete at 64,000 words. I am a psychiatrist with clinical and teaching experience in an academic setting as well as one of the semi-finalists of the St. Martin's Press New Adult contest of 2009. I would be happy to send a complete manuscript of TALENT’S BLOOD upon your request.

Thank you for your consideration,

Laura Diamond, MD


  1. This is improved from your original query! Good job. The length is good (not too long for busy agents) and the key points of the plot are described. As a minor tweaky point, government-sanctioned would be hyphenated.

    This sounds VERY dystopian, and will appeal to agents who like dystopian (as long as they're not sick of vampires; do your research carefully, as some agents are moving away from vampires).

    If your psychiatric experience doesn't factor into your book, don't include it. Definitely include the semi-finalist bit; that's cool and pertinent. Good luck with this!

  2. Wow, this has improved big time. The only concern is that it's about vampires, which as Carol pointed out, a lot of agents (and editors) are sick of. But your concept is unique enough to work. And there's no sparkling vampires and romance, which is a big perk. Plus, it's from a guys point of view. Smart move. :D

    Good luck with it!


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