Thursday, September 30, 2010

4 Query Letter #16

Query Letter #16
Name: Brenda Drake
Title: Library Jumpers
Genre: YA Urban Fantasy

Dear Ms. LaPolla:

After a spirited girl is yanked into a portal book, which links the great libraries of the world, she discovers she’s a long lost warrior and must now save the world from a wizard hell-bent on creating an apocalypse.

Seventeen-year-old Gia Kearns would rather spar with boys than kiss them. That is, until Arik, a leather-clad hottie in the Boston Athenaeum library, busts her staring at him while she's studying with her friends.

When he seemingly vanishes in musty air, Gia swipes the book of world libraries he abandoned. As she skims the pages, she unwittingly speaks the key that sucks her and her friends into a photograph and transports them into a Paris library, where Arik and his fellow Paladijns--magical knights charged with protecting humans from the creatures traveling across the gateway books--rescue the three from a demonic hound.

Gia learns she's a missing Paladijn and now that she's been found, must train with an eccentric father she never knew existed. Gia and Arik commence a heated relationship as they jump into some of the world's most beautiful libraries and travel to the Mistyk world hidden behind bookcases to stop an apocalyptic force from destroying both worlds. If fighting unfathomable creatures weren't bad enough, Arik's French vixen of an ex-girlfriend is determined to keep Arik and Gia apart.

Combining elements of fantasy and romance, LIBRARY JUMPERS, a young adult urban fantasy is complete at 90,000 words.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Best regards,

Brenda Drake


  1. Hey Brenda!
    I really like opening line to the query (Seventeen-year-old Gia Kearns would rather spar with boys than kiss them.) I like it so much that I would even say you don't need the pitch above it. Well, but that's just me :D
    AS I told you before, I like the premise, and would definitely read the book! Good luck with this and see you around!

  2. Thanks Monica,

    The pitch above it was my logline. I didn't know what we were suppose to do with them so I put it there. My query actually starts at "Seventeen-year-old Gia Kearns would rather spar with boys than kiss them". Thanks so much for commenting! :D

  3. Hi, Brenda,

    I recommend leaving out the logline. The rest of your query sounds great, and your book sounds fascinating. Good luck with this!

  4. I agree to cut the logline. I didn't like that part of the rules for my query either. I wonder if you could call Arik something but hottie. It just seems like all YA queries do.

    You explain the story really well through the rest of your query and concisely. I love that the story is about books and libraries. Good luck.


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