Thursday, September 30, 2010

7 Query Letter #15

Query Letter #15
Shelley Watters
Genre: YA Paranormal Romance

Dear Ms. LaPolla;

When seventeen-year-old Anna Caerulea's father invites her to excavate a tomb with him in Egypt over the summer, she sees it as the first step in her path to becoming an archaeologist, which she has dreamed of since she was a child. Instead, she finds a different dream come true – Alex, her father’s intern, is not only so attractive he makes her heart ache, he’s the subject of every dream she had, long before she met him.

Together they discover a secret: their lives have been entwined in a millennia-long war between Anubis and Osiris. Anna and Alex must locate Osiris’ tomb before the death god is unleashed on Egypt, or their past is the only thing they’ll have together.

BLUE LOTUS is a paranormal romance targeted at young adults and is complete at 90,000 words.

I am a member of the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators. I have a Bachelor’s degree in Sociology and a Graduate certificate in Epidemiology from (University).

Thank you for your time and consideration.


Shelley Watters


  1. Hi Shelly,

    The intrigue and mystery of Blue Lotus draws me in.

    Your opening paragraphs are really tight, and you did a great job of getting your novel's premise across. I wish I had that skill.

    I know its quality, not quantity that matters, but with the remaining word allowance you could maybe have made it a little more personal and mentioned why you were querying Sarah?

    Good luck with sending Blue Lotus into the world.

  2. Wow, Shelley! I really think it's come a long way from your first entry. Congratulations. As far as the comment above, I will say that when I took Jill Corcoran's query writing workshop (pre-agent of course), she suggested starting with some personal connection to the agent. I.e., I read your interveiw on X blog in which you stated... But there are varying schools of thought on this.

    If I HAD to find something, I would say put some of the manuscript voice in the summary. I know this can be a very hard thing to do (from experience), but it makes a huge difference when that light bulb goes on, and it will make the query stand out.

    My two cents, but honestly it looks great. I wish you best of luck! Keep us posted on your search.

  3. Thanks guys! I've actually had two full requests from this query already! :) (One came in today)

  4. Congrats on the requests! I love it as is. Great job from the first post to this version. :D

  5. Shelley - I am soooo glad!!! That is awesome!

  6. Really excited for you, Shelley. Good luck with your submissions.

  7. Well firstly, congrats on your requests! And secondly, I agree with the others. Your query has come a long way and it's looking pretty darn good!


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