Thursday, September 30, 2010

3 Query Entry #32

Query Entry #32
Name: Lindsey
Title: requiem
Genre: YA Contemporary

Dear Ms. LaPolla:

As a sixteen-year-old social pariah and reform school attendee, Ben Callahan knows what it’s like to feel invisible. It doesn’t help that his older brother Crick is *that* guy— the one every girl wants to date and every guy wants to be. But when Crick decides to chase a handful of Tylenol with a bottle of vodka, it flips the world on its axis for everyone he leaves behind, including Ben.

When Ben rummages through his brother’s stuff— mostly to see if there’s anything cool he can swipe— he uncovers a note from “M” and two simple words complicate everything: I’m pregnant. It’s soon obvious that Miriam, Crick’s perfect girlfriend, is not pregnant. But Marissa, the so-called school skank, is.

As Ben digs into his brother’s past, he must reconcile the fact that the Crick everyone knew was only one version of the whole. And ultimately Ben must decide what’s more important: revealing the skeletons in his brother’s closet or getting rid of the ones in his own.

My contemporary YA novel REQUIEM is complete at 49,000 words and is told through multiple points of view. I have an MFA in creative writing and am a member of SCBWI.

I’m querying you because you’ve requested material from me in the past and I know you are a fan of coming-of-age stories, specifically The Catcher in the Rye, which in many ways inspired my manuscript.

Thank you for your time and consideration.


Lindsey C.


  1. This sounds like a great story. The one thing I don't get is "getting rid of the ones in his own." What did that mean? As far as I could tell, he didn't have any, really.

    One other thing. I heard you can't kill yourself with tylenol. That's just a myth. Of course, it's easy to fix if this is indeed true. There's a lot of things Crick could take with the vodka.

    Great job, and good luck with it! :D

  2. Chasing tylenol w/vodka = acute liver failure and eventually, death. Just not an immediate death.

  3. Requiem sounds like a wonderful coming of age story. I think you could delete "It doesn't help that" and start the second sentence with "His brother..." Also, I think it would sound better to say "from 'M' with two simple words" instead of "and two simple words."

    Also, instead of "or getting rid of the ones in his own," I think you could say, "or facing up to his own skeletons."

    I'm surprised that such a pointed story is told from multiple viewpoints. Shouldn't you mention whose viewpoints these would be?

    I do think the story idea is a good one, and would far sooner pick up this book than a lot of the fantasy/dystopian/etc. stories out there. Good luck!


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