Tuesday, May 21, 2013

5 May Pitch+250 Finalist - The Good Demon

Name: Ryan Hill
Title: The Good Demon
Genre: YA Urban Fantasy


Six years ago, Bartholomew was sentenced to the seventh circle of hell because of a failed coup. When Lucifer suspends his punishment to find the Shard of Gabriel, a powerful relic that gives one the knowledge of God, he sees his chance for escape.

Bartholomew’s confidence is tested when he’s forced to partner with an angel. There’s nothing like a heavenly chaperone to drain the fun out of being a demon.

The search for the Shard leads the unlikely duo to go undercover at high school. There, Bartholomew experiences a hell unlike any other: life as a high school senior.

First 250 words:

The nerve.

One minute you’re in hell, minding your own business, getting your ass pummeled by every demonic being that fancied a go, and the next you’re shown the door and back on the ethereal plain without even the common decency of being escorted out by security. At least they could have warned me about the transfer first.

I opened my eyes. I was in a dark alley, completely naked. I coughed, emitting a small black cloud from my lungs. Every inch of my body felt like it’d been put through a meat grinder then nibbled on by a thousand cockroaches. My stomach was sick and heavy, much like it would be the day after eating Tex-Mex. Even my bones vibrated like a tuning fork. What was I doing back on Earth? Obviously someone had sent me here—you don’t suddenly get excused from a sentence in hell, even for a short frolic in the mortal world to stretch your legs. And especially not with a sentence like mine. I’d tried to take down Lucifer and failed. It took everything I had to keep them from adding an endless Highway to Heaven marathon to my punishment.

No, someone had struck a deal to get me out. But who? And for what?

Not even the chalk message on the brick wall provided a clue:

Bartholomew. Take the bag and clothes. Go home. More details to come.

That’s it. No name, no date, nothing. I didn’t even know the year.


  1. Wow! Full of tension and wonder. Enjoyed your first pages. Good luck with the next step!!

  2. This sounds fun! Love your MC! Good luck.

    -Amanda Leigh

  3. Demons and high school hell... awesome :) I absolutely love the voice in your opening, and wish I could keep reading. Good luck!

  4. Everything about this premise is intriguing! Love his name, so good =)

  5. Such a great premise. The voice is a standout. Would love to read more some day.


Tell us what you think. We'd love to hear from you! :)