Monday, February 25, 2013

2 Pitch+250 - Becoming Jinn

This entry was removed from the contest, because the author recently accepted representation from an agent. Congrats and best wishes, Lori!

Name: Lori A. Goldstein
Genre: YA Contemporary Fantasy


Wishing doesn’t make it so, Azra does. For the first fifteen years of her life, Azra has happily followed the rules and pretended to be a normal human girl. But the morning of her sixteenth birthday, her dormant powers as a genie are awakened, and the rules change. Azra now serves the Afrit, the powerful rulers of her Jinn world. She’ll go where she’s told, perform on command, and do it all without question. Since defying the Afrit is a one-way ticket to Jinn jail, she’ll follow the rules — sort of.

Bitter about living a life controlled by others, she rebels in the only way she can. She tosses the Jinn handbook aside and wings it. When she sloppily grants a wish for the boy across the street, he not only becomes Azra’s best friend but the only human to know her true identity.

But Azra’s genie mistakes begin to mount, along with the consequences, as she uncovers a secret about the father she’s never met, the source of her curiously strong magic, and why the Afrit have been watching her so closely. If Azra doesn’t embrace her life as a genie, the Afrit will take her away from everyone she loves. And if they find out she outed the Jinn world to a human, her sentence will be jail, but his just might be death. As Azra uncovers the darker world of becoming Jinn, she realizes when genies and wishes are involved, there’s always a trick.

1st 250:A chisel, a hammer, a wrench. A sander, a drill, a power saw. A laser, a heat gun, a flaming torch. Nothing cuts through the bangle. Nothing I conjure even makes a scratch.

I had to try, just to be sure. But the silver bangle encircling my wrist can’t be removed. It was smart of my mother to secure it in the middle of the night while I was asleep, unable to protest.

Though my Jinn ancestry means magic has always been inside me, the rules don’t allow me to begin drawing upon it until the day I turn sixteen. The day I receive my silver bangle. The day I officially become a genie. Today.

I slam my newly acquired accessory against my bedroom closet, leaving a rounded indent on the wood door. The pristine, gleaming metal mocks me. For the rest of my life, I’ll go where I’m told, perform on command, and do it all without question.

Screw that.

Barefooted, I can’t kick the pile of tools without impaling myself. I settle for shoving the saw and catch a reflection of myself in the blade. Right, how could I forget? I race to my bathroom and fling open the door. At the mirror, I inspect all the ways my body has been altered while my mind was unable to resist.

Always lanky, my form is now a study in angles. My cheekbones protrude like a shelf, the bones on my hips jut out, and my elbows are sharp like a sword.


  1. This one really makes me want to read more

  2. This is a great pitch. Congrats on finding an agent!


Tell us what you think. We'd love to hear from you! :)