The first set of revisions are posted for the October First Five Pages Workshop based on the comments the workshop participants received from our mentor, P.J. Hoover, from each other, and from Lisa and me. Stop by and see what they changed and how it works. The entries are posted below, or you can click here to see them all.. Please help us all learn from each other by reading and commenting respectfully and constructively on what you like and what you don't like. As writers we must all be analytical readers as well, so the following questions are just a few things to consider not only when you are reading these pages but also pages you are writing and books you are reading.
- Are you hooked? Why or why not?
- Do you love the voice? Why or why not?
- Do you love the characters. Why or why not?
- Is the action clear?
- Does the action move quickly enough? Too quickly?
- Does this feel like the writer is starting in the right place?
- Based on what you are reading, what do you expect will happen in the story?
- What kind of a story do you think this will be?
- Do you feel like you know what you need to know or are you confused? Have you been told too much?
- Is there enough foreshadowing? Too much?
- Is there too much backstory?
- Is the primary action shown or told, and is the balance of showing vs. telling okay in general?
- What is the tone?
- The mood?
- Do you have any ideas about theme?
- Does the setting come through clearly enough?
- Are there enough grounding details to make the story feel real and alive?
- Is there enough introspection and connection to the main character? Too much?
- Is there enough dialogue? Too much?
- Is the POV clear and consistent, or does it jump around?
- Are the language, syntax, and technical aspects of the writing of publishable quality and appropriate to the age group and sophistication of the intended audience? Would they limit the audience in any way?
Happy reading and thanks so much for your help with the workshop entries!
Martina and Lisa
ABOUT P.J. Hoover
P. J. Hoover first fell in love with Greek mythology in sixth grade thanks to the book Mythology by Edith Hamilton.
After a fifteen year bout as an electrical engineer designing computer chips for a living, P. J. decided to take her own stab at mythology and started writing books for kids and teens. When not writing, P. J. spends time with her husband and two kids and enjoys practicing kung fu, solving Rubik's cubes, and watching Star Trek.
For more information about P. J. (Tricia) Hoover, please visit her website www.pjhoover.com. P. J. is also a member of THE TEXAS SWEETHEARTS AND SCOUNDRELS and THE ENCHANTED INKPOT.
Thanks to the fabulous publicity folks at Random House, we had three huge prize packs of middle grade books to give away last week. To conserve space, I'm linking back to the original post to show you the prizes, but here are the winners:
The Winner of Prize Pack 1 is Christine
The Winner of Prize Pack 2 is Amanda G.
The Winner of Prize Pack 3 is L. Cole