2 1st 5 Pages Workshop Round 3 Revs Are Up -- Comment to Win BLOOD WOUNDS

It's a new week, and a new series of revisions for this month's First Five Pages Workshop. Happy Monday, everyone! I've posted the revisions below, and Lisa and I want to invite all of you, writers and readers (especially readers!!!!) to comment on them. This helps not just the writers, but also all of us who want to improve our craft, giving us a chance to learn together.

Please tell us (kindly and constructively) what you like and don't like in each entry. There are no right or wrong answers--that's the beauty of writing and critiquing. Everyone has their opinions. Give us your thoughts on voice or plot or pacing, on the authenticity of the characters, on the appropriateness of the language used. Most of all, tell us how engaged you were. Did you love what you read? Do you want to read more? What stopped you from reading?

Help us whip these entries into shape. Treat these like the first pages of five books you picked up at the bookstore. Would you want to read them? Would you buy the hardback or wait for the paperback? What makes the difference for you in general?

Comment -- again, because it bears repeating, kindly and constructively -- on each entry and I'll put you in for a random drawing of Susan Beth Pfeffer's BLOOD WOUNDS (Sorry, U.S. and Canadian entries only.) Here's the Goodreads blurb:

Willa is lucky: She has a loving blended family that gets along. Not all families are so fortunate. But when a bloody crime takes place hundreds of miles away, it has an explosive effect on Willa’s peaceful life. The estranged father she hardly remembers has murdered his new wife and children, and is headed east toward Willa and her mother.

Under police protection, Willa discovers that her mother has harbored secrets that are threatening to boil over. Has everything Willa believed about herself been a lie? As Willa sets out to untangle the mysteries of her past, she keeps her own secret—one that has the potential to tear her family apart.

And before I forget, the winner of last week's copy of Caroline Bock's LIE is Halli Gomez. Halli, please email me your smail address!