Thursday, September 30, 2010

5 Query Letter #24

Query Letter #24
Name: Carol Riggs
Title: SHAPERS
Genre: YA light science fiction

Dear Ms. LaPolla,

I read with interest your recent interviews on the Market My Words and YA Highway blogsites. Based on your interest in original, character-driven stories, I would like to submit my light science fiction novel, SHAPERS.

In 2039, seventeen-year-old Morgan Dey's job as a Shaper involves helping other teens lose weight--by temporarily inhabiting their bodies. The transformation from flabby to fabulous is made possible by replacing an overweight client's brain waves with hers, and exercising the pounds away. However, when Morgan becomes Shaper for a teen client who is 100 pounds overweight, she soon discovers it's not a simple "walk in the park" to shed that many pounds.

Along with various diet and exercise obstacles, Morgan faces a tangle of identity issues. Is she a real person in her client's body--or a copy of brain waves that merely thinks she's Morgan? Also, how much of her budding new romance is based on her borrowed self, and how much is due to her own personality?

External pressures soon shove Morgan's identity issues into the sidelines. Anti-Shaper groups begin protesting the ethics of brain-wave shuffling in increasingly violent ways, turning from heckling to bombings. As Morgan makes a horrifying discovery at the heart of the clinic, she finds that she stands to lose much more than the 100 pounds she'd originally signed up for.

SHAPERS is complete at 61,000 words, and is currently being reviewed upon request by Christy Webster of Random House. I am an active member of the SCBWI. Thank you for your time in reviewing this query; I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,
[name, address, email, phone, website]

5 comments:

  1. Wow! You really shaped this query into a powerhouse (yes, pun intended, I fear).

    I am really impressed by how you used the comments from everyone and really built up the query. I have a much better idea now of what the book is about than I did after reading the first query -- and it really makes me want to read it.

    My only complaint is that you've left me nothing to critique. This is great. Good luck!

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  2. I really like the premise and I thought this query was going to be one of the 20 finalists!
    I'm sorry but I don't have much to comment other than I'm intrigued, and would definitely read the ms! :D good luck with this!

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  3. Hey Carol,
    This query gives a much sharper image of what the story is about. Before I had so many questions, like how a body shaper worked. A believable explanation seemed crucial to the reader buying the plot. You've summed it up well. Very nicely done. I wouldn't change a thing.

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  4. Hi, Carol,

    Wow – wonderful job polishing this query! This sounds excellent. And congratulations on having your book reviewed by Random House – that is awesome!

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  5. This is one of my favorite queries - you did a fantastic job here! There's an intriguing plot, internal conflict, external conflict, and stakes galore. Very, very well done!

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