The last day of fifth grade should mark the beginning of a fun-filled summer for a girl. Not the end of life as I know it.
No one ever accused me of being psychic, but I could tell the worst was on its way. I knew it because today we got our final report cards.
“Happy last day of school, Jen!” Emily yelled.
Young Adult Fiction, YA Book Giveaways, Advice from Young Adult Authors, Plus Writing Tips, Publishing Information, and Insider Tidbits
Heather--It sounds like you've got something good going here. I love mg novels...
ReplyDeleteI would remove "for a girl" from the first sentence. Readers will figure out it's a girl on their own.
Best wishes...
This is a good beginning. Some things are implied already--Jen is not a good student! There is conflict from the start here, which is a positive thing. The sentence "Not the end of life as I know it" is intriguing. The reader will wonder how a bad report card begins the process of a bad summer, and ultimately, the end of life as she knew it (unless she's being melodramatic and it's not really as big of a deal as she's making it sound, like...she has to go to summer school or something). One comment I have is that I think you need to say "the end of life as I KNEW it" rather than know, present tense. I'm not 100% sure on that, but it's a feeling I have.
ReplyDeleteGreat start! I agree with Sharon and Carol in that I would get rid of "for a girl" and change "know" to "knew". I'd definitely keep reading :)
ReplyDelete